(Source: pura-mierda)
- (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
- Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
- (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
- Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
- Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
- Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
- Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
- (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
- Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
A thunderstorm, how exciting ;)
Put as many of these numbers in my ask box as possible and I'll answer all the questions I'm given.
- 1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
- 2: Something that never fails to make you horny:
- 3: Where is one place you would never have sex:
- 4: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
- 5: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
- 6: Top or bottom?
- 7: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]
- 8: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
- 9: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
- 10: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
- 11: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
- 12: One sexual thing you would never do:
- 13: Biggest turn on:
- 14: Worst possible time to get horny:
- 15: How much fapping is too much fapping:
- 16: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
- 17: What your favorite part of your body:
- 18: When was the first time you masturbated:
- 19: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
- 20: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
- 21: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?
- 22: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
- 23: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
- 24: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
- 25: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
- 26: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
- 27: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
- 28: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
- 29: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
- 30: Do you watch porn?
- 31: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
- 32: Booty or Boobs?
- 33: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
